4 Things I Learned Before Turning 39

Birthdays have a way of making you reflect. As I approach 39, I find myself thinking less about the milestones I’ve reached and more about the lessons I’ve gathered along the way. Some came gently, others were learned the hard way, but all of them shaped the person I am today.

Here are four things I’ve come to understand before stepping into this new year of life.

1. You Don’t Have to Have Everything Figured Out

There was a time when I thought certain things had to happen by a certain age—career goals, relationships, personal growth, all on some invisible timeline. But life doesn’t work that way. Things unfold when they’re meant to, and often, the best moments come when you let go of rigid expectations.

I’ve learned to embrace the unknown, to trust that even when things don’t go as planned, they’re leading me somewhere important. Growth isn’t about reaching a destination—it’s about evolving, adapting, and allowing yourself the grace to figure things out at your own pace.

2. Protecting Your Peace is Non-Negotiable

There was a time when I said “yes” to everything—opportunities, friendships, obligations—without stopping to ask if they were actually serving me. But the older I get, the more I realize that protecting my energy isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Not everything or everyone deserves access to you. Setting boundaries isn’t about pushing people away—it’s about choosing what (and who) you allow into your life. If something drains you more than it fulfills you, it’s okay to step away. Peace isn’t something you stumble upon; it’s something you create by being intentional with your time, energy, and emotional space.

3. Failure Isn’t the End—It’s Redirection

For a long time, I saw failure as something to be avoided at all costs. But now, I see it differently. Every setback, every “wrong turn,” every moment where things didn’t work out how I wanted—those were the moments that taught me the most.

Failure doesn’t define you. What defines you is how you choose to move forward. I’ve learned that the things I once saw as losses were actually redirections, pushing me toward something better. The key is to embrace the lessons, adjust your approach, and keep going.

4. The Little Moments Matter More Than the Big Ones

We spend so much time chasing milestones, waiting for the “big” moments that will make us feel like we’ve finally made it. But the truth is, life happens in the in-between. It’s in the slow mornings, the deep conversations, the uncontrollable laughter with friends.

Some of my most cherished memories aren’t from grand achievements but from small, fleeting moments that felt like nothing at the time. The more I focus on being present for them, the more full and meaningful life feels.

Stepping Into 39

With each year, I realize that life isn’t about checking off boxes—it’s about experiencing it fully. It’s about embracing uncertainty, protecting what matters, learning from every misstep, and finding joy in the simple things.

So, as I step into 39, I’m carrying these lessons with me—not as rules, but as reminders of how far I’ve come and how much more there is to discover.

What’s one lesson you’ve learned that has shaped you? I’d love to hear.